a day at the docs....AGAIN
So, a little bit more personal information than you probably needed to know about me, but yes I am still suffering from a hernia and I had my docs appointment today at 12:40 for another 'poke and grope'. All I can say is that I really dont think this Dr. Birch exists. I think he is a figment of peoples imagination and they say "oh yes, Dr Birch will see you" but in fact they just keep passing info from student to student and they know that if we knew there was no doc and only students we wouldnt put faith in their sayings. However, all they have to do is come in and say "yes, Dr. Birch says it is a hernia and it will need to be operated on and he we will get back to you on the date." and we trust them for sound advice. Then, on the date of the operation, when the person is hopped up on knock out gas and wouldnt recognize their own mother, they bring in a student in a lab coat who spouts medical jargon til you fall asleep and thus you have 'seen' Dr. Birch. yeah, but that is just my theory.
I got to the docs office for 12:20, they had me in the docs examine room for 12:25, Dr. Birch's assistant (female) came in, explained the operation and risks and then had me sign a form saying I understand and want to proceed.
Now, before I go any further, let me throw in my two cents worth that female assistants/nurses, taking into my account of both the male and female students/assistants that talked to me about hernias, should NOT be allowed to discuss hernia operations and side effects to men. Why you ask? simple...when the guy was talking about the hernia and what happens, he added in the right tone of 'oh yeah, that has got to hurt' of sympathy pains. You know the pains and look that men get when they watch another man take a face plant into the sidewalk or when the see a man slip and catch a hand railing in the nuts, or takes a soccer/football kick to the man sack, and the entire sports bar occupancy goes "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and curls up in slight pain. Yeah, that is what he talked about. However, the woman draws me a bigger diagram, goes into detail about the two different types of hernias, explains the procedure of the cutting of holes in my abdomen and chest, snaking cables through my body with little devices, putting in a screen door mesh into my groinal area and then wait for the body to take care of the growing and bonding. Sounds good and easy right? I was impressed by her knowledge and information delivery, very nice, UNTIL she starts to talk about complications. Some patients reject the screen in the form of infections, non-growth/securing and sickness, but this is a small percent. The other side effect is that the screen gets placed over a vein running down from the body to the testicle, and if this vein gets constricted, then no blood gets to the testicle. I looked at her and made a face of horror and she said "oh dont worry, you wont die...the testicle just loses blood flow to it, shrinks down, shrivels up and dies and then it is removed surgically...no problem"...all this with the calm demenour like she just explained that my thumb nail had grown black and needed to be removed, but dont worry there will be no pain. When I coughed and managed to squeak out "kids..I may want kids" she shrugged and went "you got another one". OUCH is all I can say...
so, yeah, talked to this lady, got the run down of the whole operation thing and then found out that they are booking into late June for operations. I explained I cant go back to work due to pain and there is no light work in a camp kitchen, she went out and explained it to the assistant/secretary that I had to get in ASAP to return to work and she came out saying "ok, we are looking at end of May/beginning of June for this". They are going to call in a week or two to get me the final date of the operation and when they can squeeze me in. Recovery time for said operation is roughly 3 weeks of no heavy lifting but then I should be right as rain (assuming that the mesh is accepted by my body and that happens usually all the time and the chance of rejection is less than 1%).
Talk about the best health care system in the world that we have here in Canada. I get a hernia in February and it has taken to May to get booked for surgey, have to wait another possible 6 weeks to get sliced and then 3 weeks to heal. No wonder Canadians need safety nets like health care, workers compensation and short term disability insurance, with this speedy health system most people would probably die of starvation before their illness forcing them not to work killed their bodies.
I got to the docs office for 12:20, they had me in the docs examine room for 12:25, Dr. Birch's assistant (female) came in, explained the operation and risks and then had me sign a form saying I understand and want to proceed.
Now, before I go any further, let me throw in my two cents worth that female assistants/nurses, taking into my account of both the male and female students/assistants that talked to me about hernias, should NOT be allowed to discuss hernia operations and side effects to men. Why you ask? simple...when the guy was talking about the hernia and what happens, he added in the right tone of 'oh yeah, that has got to hurt' of sympathy pains. You know the pains and look that men get when they watch another man take a face plant into the sidewalk or when the see a man slip and catch a hand railing in the nuts, or takes a soccer/football kick to the man sack, and the entire sports bar occupancy goes "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" and curls up in slight pain. Yeah, that is what he talked about. However, the woman draws me a bigger diagram, goes into detail about the two different types of hernias, explains the procedure of the cutting of holes in my abdomen and chest, snaking cables through my body with little devices, putting in a screen door mesh into my groinal area and then wait for the body to take care of the growing and bonding. Sounds good and easy right? I was impressed by her knowledge and information delivery, very nice, UNTIL she starts to talk about complications. Some patients reject the screen in the form of infections, non-growth/securing and sickness, but this is a small percent. The other side effect is that the screen gets placed over a vein running down from the body to the testicle, and if this vein gets constricted, then no blood gets to the testicle. I looked at her and made a face of horror and she said "oh dont worry, you wont die...the testicle just loses blood flow to it, shrinks down, shrivels up and dies and then it is removed surgically...no problem"...all this with the calm demenour like she just explained that my thumb nail had grown black and needed to be removed, but dont worry there will be no pain. When I coughed and managed to squeak out "kids..I may want kids" she shrugged and went "you got another one". OUCH is all I can say...
so, yeah, talked to this lady, got the run down of the whole operation thing and then found out that they are booking into late June for operations. I explained I cant go back to work due to pain and there is no light work in a camp kitchen, she went out and explained it to the assistant/secretary that I had to get in ASAP to return to work and she came out saying "ok, we are looking at end of May/beginning of June for this". They are going to call in a week or two to get me the final date of the operation and when they can squeeze me in. Recovery time for said operation is roughly 3 weeks of no heavy lifting but then I should be right as rain (assuming that the mesh is accepted by my body and that happens usually all the time and the chance of rejection is less than 1%).
Talk about the best health care system in the world that we have here in Canada. I get a hernia in February and it has taken to May to get booked for surgey, have to wait another possible 6 weeks to get sliced and then 3 weeks to heal. No wonder Canadians need safety nets like health care, workers compensation and short term disability insurance, with this speedy health system most people would probably die of starvation before their illness forcing them not to work killed their bodies.
posted by Capt_Canuck at 3:09 PM
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