and the DUH! award goes to...
Came across this article on the net today. Apparently 67% of Canadians in a relationship say that a white lie is acceptable though 31% of men and 42% of women say that trust and honesty matter most in a relationship.
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080201/white_lies_AM_080201/20080201?hub=Canada
Something tells me that the 67% that say white lies are acceptable are those that are in a relationship right now, whereas those 31%/42% of people that value honesty the most are those that are not in a relationship yet and still have that 'PollyAnna' view that a relationship is a giving and sharing commitment between two people. Of course, they do clarify and say that honesty and trust with the big things ("did you sleep with my sister?" "where were you out last night til 3am and came home smelling of booze and drugs?" "how come the bank account is empty? we had nearly $25,000 in there yesterday. Where did it go?") are all very important questions to be open and honest about. However, the little things like "Do these pants make me look fat?" or "Do you think my high school friend is hot?" really need a white lie to cover your butt. After all, white lies are not deceitful lies to keep things hidden, but more a way of reassuring a partners poor self esteem about certain issues, those that are fishing for compliments.
I used to have the total 100% rule of answering all questions honestly. If you asked me a question you had better be ready for the honest answer. If you asked if you are fat, and you are gaining the weight, be prepared for the 'oh yeah, you are' answer. However, after being in a relationship and now marriage for a year, I have come to realize that we dont ask questions for honesty, we ask them for reassurance in our own personal appearance. I have even made it clear to my wife that I really don't want the honest answer. If it comes up about sexual partners, I want to be told that I am the best she ever hadl; I want to know that I am the smartest boyfriend she has had; I want to hear that I am the sexiest man she knows. We both know all those answers are outright lies and untrue, but hearing them makes me feel so much better. Just as when she asks if she looks fat and I say "no honey, you look gorgeous" we both know it is a lie, but we both appreciate the self esteem boost.
Apparently for an online poll these are the results:
Are white lies an acceptable part of a relationship?
Yes 4505 votes (60 %)
No 3006 votes (40 %)
Total Votes: 7511
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20080201/white_lies_AM_080201/20080201?hub=Canada
Something tells me that the 67% that say white lies are acceptable are those that are in a relationship right now, whereas those 31%/42% of people that value honesty the most are those that are not in a relationship yet and still have that 'PollyAnna' view that a relationship is a giving and sharing commitment between two people. Of course, they do clarify and say that honesty and trust with the big things ("did you sleep with my sister?" "where were you out last night til 3am and came home smelling of booze and drugs?" "how come the bank account is empty? we had nearly $25,000 in there yesterday. Where did it go?") are all very important questions to be open and honest about. However, the little things like "Do these pants make me look fat?" or "Do you think my high school friend is hot?" really need a white lie to cover your butt. After all, white lies are not deceitful lies to keep things hidden, but more a way of reassuring a partners poor self esteem about certain issues, those that are fishing for compliments.
I used to have the total 100% rule of answering all questions honestly. If you asked me a question you had better be ready for the honest answer. If you asked if you are fat, and you are gaining the weight, be prepared for the 'oh yeah, you are' answer. However, after being in a relationship and now marriage for a year, I have come to realize that we dont ask questions for honesty, we ask them for reassurance in our own personal appearance. I have even made it clear to my wife that I really don't want the honest answer. If it comes up about sexual partners, I want to be told that I am the best she ever hadl; I want to know that I am the smartest boyfriend she has had; I want to hear that I am the sexiest man she knows. We both know all those answers are outright lies and untrue, but hearing them makes me feel so much better. Just as when she asks if she looks fat and I say "no honey, you look gorgeous" we both know it is a lie, but we both appreciate the self esteem boost.
Apparently for an online poll these are the results:
Are white lies an acceptable part of a relationship?
Yes 4505 votes (60 %)
No 3006 votes (40 %)
Total Votes: 7511
posted by Capt_Canuck at 1:10 AM
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